Do This, Not That First Hook Up Edition

This post comes to us from the folks at Adam & Eves – you know the ummm… adult toy store – and it’s just plain good advice for the first time with a new partner, no matter where it might be headed. 

So you’ve met this really great guy or girl, right? It’s been a date or two (or even just a few hours, whatever floats your boat) and it’s time to go to the bonezone. While your hormones are raging and you’re ready to go, there are a few things you should keep in mind the first time you get down with someone. You can’t just fling your clothes to the right and your cares to the left. Use this “Do this, Not that” list as your guide to make sure you can hit the sheets with this person again.


Always bring and use a condom. I don’t care if they seem trustworthy and said they are clean. It doesn’t matter that you don’t like condoms and they’re on birth control. At the end of the day, you can’t trust someone you’ve only just met and even if they think they are being honest, they might not know they have something. Play It Safe and wrap it up until you’ve committed to each other and gotten tested. (Note from Kenra: This. Right here. It’s the biggest mistake anyone can make. You put your LIFE in someone else’s hands any time you’re with a new partner. DON’T let a great roll in the hay KILL you!)


Bust out your craziest moves the first time around. It’s awesome that you have a whole box full of Adam & Eve sex toys and that you like to say some dirty things, but let’s be real, the first time should be pretty vanilla. You don’t want to use up all of your good moves the first time around because you won’t have anything to fall back on the next time. It also kills the mystery and forces your partner to think you’ve been doing this for quite some time. (Note from Kenra: Can you imagine what a guy would think if the first time you’re together you start dragging out the toys? Great way to kill his ego and ruin the mood right there!)


Make sure their needs are met. No one likes a selfish lover, so be sure to give them as much attention as you would want. Focus on getting them off. Pay attention to the way they react and adjust yourself accordingly. Moves that worked on a previous lover may not work on them, so do whatever it takes to get them to that sweet spot.


Linger around for too long the next day. Sure, you both had a great time, but you don’t want to seem clingy right away just because you guys slept together. Wake up, do the morning snuggle thing, exchange a few words and then get up and go. Don’t make the mistake of laying around their house all day just because you don’t have anything else to do or are hung over. Be a little mysterious and go lay on your own couch for a few hours without them. (Note from Kenra: Probably not a great idea to call him 50 times a day, show up at his work or even open a can of whup-ass on some woman you happen to see him talking to. Can we say Fatal Attraction? Hear those sirens? They’re for YOU!)


Leave a good impression. Just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean you have to be rude. Let them know you had a great time and you want to see them again.


Ask where the relationship is going or how many people they have slept with. One boink does not make a relationship. Play it calm and aloof and just see what happens. Avoid asking invasive questions about their past sex life right off the bat because it can be seen as rude and kills the mystery.


Get down on the snug train. Don’t roll over afterwards and just past out. Give this new partner some comfort and engage in a little post-coitus snuggle. It doesn’t have to last all night, just long enough to let your partner know that they weren’t just used.

What are some mistakes you’ve made in the past that I left off?

About Kenra Daniels

I write steamy Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance. I live in a very small town in rural northeastern Kentucky, right at the edge of the Appalachian Mountains, with my very own Romance Novel Hero (aka Hubby) of 26 yrs. We're raising our 3 little grandsons - 5y, 3y, and 2y old.
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9 Responses to Do This, Not That First Hook Up Edition

  1. azureboone says:

    I have a saying that goes with that condom concept: Feel free to use it…

    Love is a condom…fuck without it and you risk STDs of the soul

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  • Just Sayin’

    I'm a Romance Author - mainly Paranormal, but nearly all with fairly graphic intimate scenes. Those scenes serve to further the development of my plots and characters and are not included haphazardly to sell books or arouse readers.

    I probably COULD tell the stories without the graphic parts, but I CHOOSE not to. I want to show the full scope of the developing relationship, and leaving out some of the most powerful and meaningful moments will deprive the reader of a measure of understanding and emotional reaction to the characters and their stories.

    Since I write books intended for adult readers, I often have material on my website that is entirely unsuitable for younger readers. If you're under 18, or if you're easily offended by open discussion of sexual situations with frank language, you might want to look the other direction.