Where Do YOU Draw The Line?

*WARNING: The following post is a frank discussion of sexual practices and situations some might find offensive. If you are under 18, or find such discussions objectionable, please explore my other posts and pages.*


Okay, warning out of the way, let’s get to it.

Welcome to another Hit Or Miss (TM) Series post. This one is inspired by a post on erotic romance author Alex O’Hurley‘s blog, titled “You Wanna Cum Where?”.

Alex talked about the preference some men have for ejaculating on their partner’s face. Alex doesn’t care for cum facials at all, and judging from the comments, lots of other women don’t either. Personally, I find it to be overtly degrading and dominant. Some male animals will mount another male’s head and ejaculate or urinate as a show of dominance. I refuse to allow a man to treat me that way.

So that got me thinking. I’m pretty sure all women have something that hits their off switch. If you think you don’t have, I figured you just haven’t encountered the right situation yet. Now I’m curious about where other women draw the line.

After 26 years of marriage, with a very healthy, active, and spicy sex life, I’m open to MANY sexual practices. But I have a few lines that Hubby dares not attempt to cross. One is bondage. I can deal with having my hands held for a short time, but I simply cannot deal with having them tied or cuffed.

How about you? What sexual situation or practice do you simply refuse to take part in or allow to be done to you? Do you know why? Is it something you just don’t like, or does it remind you of a negative past experience? What do you do if a partner insists on it?

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About Kenra Daniels

I write steamy Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance. I live in a very small town in rural northeastern Kentucky, right at the edge of the Appalachian Mountains, with my very own Romance Novel Hero (aka Hubby) of 26 yrs. We're raising our 3 little grandsons - 5y, 3y, and 2y old.
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10 Responses to Where Do YOU Draw The Line?

  1. Hmm….you know, when I was younger, I had lots of lines that made me uncomfortable. As I’ve gotten older, the lines have moved. I’m sure that has to do with being with the same awesome guy for the last 16 years. I trust him, he trusts me, and the longer we’re together, the more the lines move.

    As for right now, at this moment, I think the things that are a definite will NEVER happen have got to be the really extreme bodily fluid play (You guys should know what I mean). Also, things that are illegal for a good reason. Maybe we’re just so vanilla we haven’t gotten all that freaky yet, LOL.
    Jennifer James recently posted..Blood Betrayed by Gabrielle Bisset is Now Available! Woot!My Profile

    • Hey Jenn! Thanks for stopping by!

      I agree, being able to trust your partner makes it easier to allow some lines to be crossed. When a woman *knows* without a doubt that he’ll stop when she needs him to, she can get closer to some of the scary lines. And I’m sure it’s the same for a man.

      I’m so with you on the bodily fluid stuff – no way! LOL We’re pretty vanilla too, most of the time, but we occasionally push the boundaries. ~O
      Kenra Daniels recently posted..Where Do YOU Draw The Line?My Profile

  2. The line has shifted as I’ve gotten older as I’ve become even more open minded, plus I’ve been with the hubby since our teenage years so there’s an absolutely trust built up, but there are still things that I just can’t take. The biggest one is what you said above. I find cumming on the face degrading (not to mention the cleanup being a pain in the ass). More power to others if they like it, different strokes for different folks and all, but it’s definitely not my cup of tea. That and anything in the “golden showers” family of activities are all on my black list of no-nos. Other than that, I like to think I’m pretty adventurous.
    Buffy Kennedy recently posted..REVIEW: Darkness Dawns by Dianne DuvallMy Profile

    • Hi Buffy – Good to see you!

      Yeah, I’m fine with whatever other people do, as long as no innocents are harmed (kids, animals, etc), and I don’t them doing it on my front lawn, LOL.

      Over the years, my lines have shifted too – a few have actually become more conservative, while others have broadened. As my overall perspective on life changes, so do my comfort zones.
      Kenra Daniels recently posted..Where Do YOU Draw The Line?My Profile

  3. Dariel Raye says:

    Let’s just say I enjoy lots of things, but nothing that reeks (literally) of degradation, like the infamous golden showers or cum in my face. No thank you. I can even deal with a little dominance from time to time, so long as I get to be the dom sometimes. Oh, I also won’t wear anything that’s harmful. No permanent damage, please. Fun post, Kenra :-)

    • Hi Dariel, thanks for stopping by!

      I can handle occasional dominance too, while other times I’d rather be in charge. I’m lucky, Hubs is great at sensing which mood I’m in and is willing to give and take.

      As for anything that causes permanent damage, I don’t see anything sexy in that, though I’m sure some do. It’s probably because of my background and my relationship, but I can’t find the appeal in actually harming a partner.
      Kenra Daniels recently posted..Where Do YOU Draw The Line?My Profile

  4. Kelly says:

    I feel that I had to “mature” too young, so lines that I should never have known about until now were crossed many years ago at the mere age of 14. With that said, I allow my fiance of 3 yrs quite a bit of leeway. I don’t mind the “cum-shot ” to the face, on occasion. It isn’t something that I allow often, I actually can count on one hand how many times that has been allowed in the years we’ve been together. But my big “No-No” is biting. Even if it’s “gentle” nibbles. It absolutely sends me into panic mode. Not really sure why, as I don’t recall ever having anything traumatic happen to me that involved being bit. And as for the “Golden Showers”, that would never be allowed! I don’t understand why women would even allow it! eeew!

  5. Hi Kelly, thanks for stopping by!

    I’m really sorry you had to mature at such an early age. Unfortunately, that situation is all to common.

    Even though I don’t find face-shots appealing, I’m certain many women do. And there are undoubtedly things I like that you would consider distasteful, LOL. But Golden Showers? Uhuh. Not happening, LOL.

    I’m good with a little gentle biting occasionally, but I understand why some, even many, women wouldn’t be. After all, biting is an act of aggression in other circumstances, so it isn’t far-fetched for our minds to make the connection.
    Kenra Daniels recently posted..Where Do YOU Draw The Line?My Profile

  6. Atiya says:

    I’m going to go with the facial as well, and a new one for me guys in diapers. While I understand that does turn some folks on, it does not appeal to me. I don’t even think I can attempt to try to write about that with out being disgusted.

    • Hi Atiya, and thanks for stopping by!

      Diapers, huh? I guess I knew there was a subset of the adult population that found diapers, and all they entail, arousing. After all, there have always been those joking portrayals of a fat, balding businessman getting off in a diaper while a Dominatrix beats him.

      I think a lot of ‘vanilla’ people probably have that erroneous image of a BDSM relationship – hell, I used to. Now that I know a little more about BDSM, and even take an occasional experimental foray into that side, I still don’t get the diaper thing, along with several other kinks. They’re just beyond me. 😀
      Kenra Daniels recently posted..Where Do YOU Draw The Line?My Profile

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  • Just Sayin’

    I'm a Romance Author - mainly Paranormal, but nearly all with fairly graphic intimate scenes. Those scenes serve to further the development of my plots and characters and are not included haphazardly to sell books or arouse readers.

    I probably COULD tell the stories without the graphic parts, but I CHOOSE not to. I want to show the full scope of the developing relationship, and leaving out some of the most powerful and meaningful moments will deprive the reader of a measure of understanding and emotional reaction to the characters and their stories.

    Since I write books intended for adult readers, I often have material on my website that is entirely unsuitable for younger readers. If you're under 18, or if you're easily offended by open discussion of sexual situations with frank language, you might want to look the other direction.